Sometimes it just happens to you. You don't even know what happened, just something good. You start to behave a different way, previously you liked to do something and now you don't like it, you taste foods you used to like and now they are different. You feel completly happy and satisfied not counting something is missing, but at least you know what is that. You feel like if you will have it your whole life is going to different. It's missing and having at the some time as you feel it in your heart but also feel alone and forsaken until it becomes real. Then... I don't know what happens, but to be honest I don't care. It's sad to live without it. But now I'm blue and felice...